Pop-quiz: what is different about the chart above from the last few times we’ve seen it?

That’s right! There is another way to look at  and understand what is happening in our ‘triggered’ stress state versus our resilient state. The two nervous system responses (each side of the chart) could also be labeled our ‘threat defense system’ (SNS/triggered) and our ‘attachment/affiliate system’ (PSNS/resilient). Both are designed to keep us safe.

Threat defense system: 
When your brain detects danger, we’re directed to turn towards the threat and attack it, run away from it, play dead in the hope the threat will pass, or show our bellies and hope the threat will be alleviated. These responses are fueled by cortisol and adrenaline. Great for dangers in the wild, not so great when the modern-day-world, when these responses often make things worse. 

• Think of a time this week when you experienced a triggering stress event. What was your natural response – fight, flight or freeze? This response may have kept you safe in the past, but I ask you, “was it the most effective response in this situation?”

Attachment/affiliation system: 
As mammals we’re designed to be soothed by warmth and affection – this deactivates the ‘threat defense system’ and cultivates a sense of safety. The attachment/affiliation system is about being kind, understanding and accepting. This puts the power back in our hands – in addition to these moves of self-compassion, practicing gratitude can also give us the same reward – a burst of oxytocin which increases our feelings of trust, calm, safety, generosity and connectedness.  

• When was the last time you offered yourself self-compassion in the form of kindness, understanding, accepting versus the inner-critic that is driving you to always be better/do more?

There is a reason so many have touted practicing gratitude over hundreds of years. Researchers can point to visual evidence, recorded using MRIs, that gratitude deactivates the ‘threat defense system’ and activates the attachment/affiliation (rest & digest parasympathetic nervous) system – what I call ‘resiliency.’