Big news on hold this week in lieu of a broken heart
I was planning on announcing some big news this week, but my heart just isn’t in it (even though the cats out of the bag a bit if you’re reading this article on my new website – more next week!). The world itself seems to be heaving with the war still raging in Ukraine, the second anniversary of George Floyd’s murder and the recent horrific school shooting in Uvalde.
I want to recognize the pain, grief, fear, anguish, anger and sadness of those directly affected by these atrocities. I also want to recognize the connection we all have to these events – and invite you to recognize it in yourself as well. You’ll find some healing practices below, but read on for why it’s important to take a time-out to process your own grief.
You're not alone if you're heart is aching
If your heart is aching, you’re not alone. I firmly believe that collective healing begins with each of us. If you want to turn your anger and grief into action, I encourage you to start within yourself. By healing yourself first, you can fully show up to help support others and power up to create the change you want to see in the world.
Holding in our grief hurts us all
I know I fall into the trap Western society has led us into. As I imagine what it’s like to be a mother in the Ukraine sending her child across the border alone in hopes that he’ll reach safety, to be a black mother praying her child won’t be stopped and killed by the police that day, or to be a mother whose nine year old was shot at school as the police hovered outside in inaction, I hold in my grief because it didn’t happen to me…because those directly affected are the ones worthy of this deep level of grief.
Comparative suffering isn’t helping anyone
After forty-plus years of holding in my own grief in honor of others, I was jolted awake by a conversation between grief expert, David Kessler, and my always favorite, Brene Brown, on her podcast Unlocking Us. Brene said comparative suffering denies us of our own feelings of grief and loss (paraphrased). Yup, guilty here! Kessler proposed that ‘our own losses are the worst losses’ and not naming them prevents us from grieving. Holding onto your own grief can leave you fragile and prevent you from joining others in collective action. So the approach of telling yourself, ‘I’m fine, I’m really so lucky’ is not helpful to you or to those suffering more or in other ways.
Processing our own grief helps us rise up to help others
While it’s important to hold space for the grief of others directly impacted, we can focus on healing our collective grief and move into action by first naming and witnessing our own grief. We can actually use our bodies to effectively process atrocities in the world by giving our own felt experience care and attention. Our bodies are efficient vehicles to help us integrate our suffering, allowing us to move from a state of grief into one of resilience and clarity. From that place, we’re now equipped to effectively move forward into heart-felt, meaningful responsive actions.
Practices to help you heal
Your pain is real. Allow yourself to grieve. The following practices help you use your body to integrate your own felt experience and open up space for inspired action. I encourage you to take a few moments for yourself and try one or all of them out.
Guided medtitations
This guided meditation is called Tending a Broken Heart – it will help you tend your broken heart, so you can show up in the world for what matters most to you. Just under 10 minutes.
Many of us feel out of control over the events in the world right now. Try this Loving Kindness Mediation to find agency over what you can do…offer compassion to yourself, those we see as enemies, and the world – we are all connected. Use your own awareness to elevate love, compassion, and kindness on the planet. Nourish yourself to nourish others. Just over ten minutes.
Guided medtitations
This sound bath can help manage anxiety, sooth the nervous system, and allow you to get out of your thinking mind and connect with your body. The root and heart chakra frequencies dominate this sound bath – to help tune your heart back into an optimal state. Enjoy with headphones or in stereo to get the full benefit of binaural beats and calming theta waves.
Wishing you freedom, growth & joy,
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Land acknowledgement: I live on traditional, ancestral & contemporary lands of the Dakota people near Bdote, the confluence of the Minnesota & Mississippi Rivers.
